Monday, November 21, 2011

Resolve Marital life after Verbal Abuse - Useful Guidelines for the Victim as well as the Maltreater

By Belle Smith

Verbal abuse is a destructive weapon that kills the very soul of the victim. Contemptuous name-calling, raging outbursts and insulting words constitute this violent approach. It targets the confidence and esteem of the abused. It can exist in any relationship, even in marriage.

If you've suffered from this issue, you wonder if there is there still a way to fix your relationship. Luckily, fate is on your side. Go over the tips stated below and get over this grave issue.

For the Victim

Leave the past and move on.

No problem can be resolved without accepting it has happened to you. If you don't accept it, you're far from identifying its solution. Go through the pain and put a period on it. It may be hard to control the recurring emotion but you definitely have the capacity to let go of the past. Stop blaming your partner and start anew.

Regain your self-esteem.

As a result of your partner's consistent hurtful assertions and scornful jests, your self-esteem diminishes bit by bit. To rebuild this, focus on your good side and be happy with your strengths. You can post a list of your positive traits on your room to remind yourself that you're overflowing with goodness.

Hang out with optimistic people.

Hang out with people who love you for who you are, like your family and best buddies. Joining support groups in your community is also another option. The members can offer emotional backup and practical advices on how to handle this issue with their experience as the main source.

For the Abuser

Express apology.

Show sincerity when you tell your partner you regret the act of maltreatment you've committed. Promise not to repeat the habits in your marriage and keep it. Learn how to communicate your thoughts carefully and appropriately. Even rage can be expressed with the right words. If this is too difficult for you, seek professional help.

Think before you speak.

If only you can reflect before you talk, you won't regret blurting out cruel words to your partner. When you're at the peak of an emotion, you incline to throw overly unrealistic promises and brutal statements. Before making any statement, pausing for some seconds to reflect can sieve your words. Taking deep breaths or counting from one to ten might also help.

Be patient.

Verbal abuse is triggered with an act that doesn't please you. You get irritated with the act so easily that you yell nasty, hurtful and sarcastic things that put your spouse down. However, if you try to extend your patience and remember your partner deserves respect like any other person, you can prevent from verbally abusing her.

Marriage can still be fixed after a verbal abuse as long as you and your partner learn from the experience. Your experience is your powerful guide on how to put back the pieces together again. Reconcilation will always come if you're willing to forgive each other. The change you desire might not occur instantly as time is an important element. If you're about to give up, just remember that this tough journey ends up with a strengthened relationship.

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